Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
