So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
