I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
