oh god the rape fog is back!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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