So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's never too late to be topless.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
