I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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