just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
