new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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