my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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