Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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