If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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