I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
