I have demons in me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
