Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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