Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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