I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
