getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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