I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I faked an abortion last night.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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