He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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