Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
