Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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