STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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