Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
