Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
