I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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