I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
vagina is talking i cant
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize