There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
