but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
