Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
