I cut my penus on the lid.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
