i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
