No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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