I have demons in me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
