girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
