He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
