thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
