You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
