Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
