2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
