forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
