Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
