Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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