Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
