I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
