I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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