I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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