phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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