really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
