he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
