She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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