There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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