Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
