You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
