i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
