11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
