the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Let's get the cat blown out
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
